If you have been following our blog then you know by now that Claire is expecting her second child early next year. She has been hard at work trying to figure out the best baby name to pay homage to the great country of Texas (*insert eye roll*). I appreciate that because I have known some people that go to the hospital and deliver a baby without the slightest idea of what they’d like to call their offspring. I mean seriously, you have nine plus months to prepare for this day, you’d think you’d at least have a name. I totally get that people prep and plan in different ways though, so I polled some of our pregnant moms for another MoFoGro (Mom Focus Group) on what they have planned for their big day.
Meet the Moms
Melissa – has a 4 year old daughter and was due to deliver her second child (gender will be a surprise) on August 30, 2016. She will be delivering at the same hospital with the same practice of doctors.
**Melissa delivered a healthy baby girl (10 lbs 1 oz, 21” long) the evening of September 5, 2016.
Angela – has a 2 year old son and is due to deliver her second child (gender will be a surprise) on December 15, 2016. She has had a different doctor and hospital for each delivery.
Claire – has an almost 2 year old son and is due to deliver her second child (will find out gender soon) on March 7, 2017. She has had a different doctor and hospital for each delivery.
Even though my own daughter’s labor and delivery was only 8 months ago, I feel like I have completely forgotten the whole experience. I guess this is the only way women can possibly give birth over and over again. Just thinking about labor and delivery again makes me nervous and I’m glad to hear these other moms feel the same. Claire is the exception, but we all know she is delusional. Melissa mentioned that this pregnancy has been very different from her first, so she feels like it’s her first time all over again and that makes her nervous! Plus, with her first child, she had a scheduled early induction because the baby was so big, so Melissa never went into labor on her own. She doesn’t know what to expect this time!
Planning for a second or third (or even fourth) delivery has got to be tricky because you have your other kids to think about. Going to the hospital to have your first baby is easy; you just grab your bag and go. Now you have to find child care before you go to the hospital. This is even more difficult if you do not live near family, which is the case for everyone in our MoFoGro. Here is what they have planned:
- Melissa – My mom is here (she arrived on 8/28), and my mother-in-law is coming soon. They will take care of my daughter while I’m in labor. The plan was a little crazier before my mom arrived – a hodge-podge of “if it happens at this time, we will call this friend” and “this person will pick her up from school and bring her to the hospital”. The best was that my husband didn’t seem to be concerned about working out details of “every ridiculous scenario”… which was really upsetting. I tried reminding him that he would be the one who needed to know all of the details since I would be in labor, but that didn’t seem to convince him to care. Luckily, it didn’t end up mattering.
- Angela – This is a problem, hoping my parents will be here. But I will need to ask a friend if they can watch my son as a backup plan. (A couple of friends for backup depending on time and day I may go into labor.)
- Claire – Oh geez! I’m hoping we can schedule my mom to fly out at the right time to be around when I go into labor, but if I go into labor too early, I’m going to have to figure out like a 4-tiered plan for childcare; instructions for someone to come over and take care of our son, a midnight plan, a drop-him-off-with-someone plan and a worst-case-scenario plan where no one is readily available and we have to bring him to the hospital and waiting until someone can take him back home.
Once our moms get to the hospital they aren’t planning to do much different from their first labor and delivery; but they do hope their experiences are a little different. Claire said “I’ll generally go about it the same way, but this time I’ll take it easier on my husband. I had greater expectations for his involvement the first time around, but there wasn’t much to do during every minute of a 16-or-so hour labor.” We can plan for things to go a certain way all day long, but we all know that when it comes to labor and delivery our plans usually go out the window. We can still hope they go in our favor. Angela is hoping her baby drops faster this time around so there is less pushing. Claire is also hoping for a quick delivery with less tearing. Melissa hopes that a lot is different this time! She said, “I hope I don’t have to be induced. I hope that I don’t get preeclampsia while I’m pushing so that I don’t have to have that awful medicine for the first 24 hours of the baby’s life. I hope that I don’t have nerve damage in my leg so that I can walk! I hope that we get out of the hospital in a normal amount of time (a couple of days)!”
For our first child, I only wanted my husband in the delivery room with me, but I think in the future I’d be open to my mom or other close family being there with me. Especially if my husband is deployed. Angela is going to have her husband in the delivery room with her, same as her previous delivery, and Claire will most likely only have her husband in the room this time. Melissa also only wants her husband in the room with her this time, but her mom, MIL, and daughter will hopefully all be in the waiting room to be able to see them very soon after delivery! Last time Melissa had her mom, MIL, and FIL in the room. *Melissa’s 4-year old daughter actually ended up being in the delivery room when her second daughter was born. That clearly was not the plan, but a good experience for the whole family.
Once home from the hospital, these moms will need to recover all while taking care of a new baby and older child. Hopefully their husbands will be on some sort of paternity leave and their older kids can go to day care during the week. Military wives know they can’t always depend on their husbands to be home or even in the same country after a child’s birth so they have to lean on friends and non-military family for help. Luckily, our MoFoGro has a good support system and will have family there to help after the babies are born. I wish you all the best of luck and hope everything goes in your favor. But just remember the end goal is healthy baby and healthy mommy!